before taking off to reality

Was almost flung awakened from my slumber at the stroke of 730am.....and reality had to set in. It is the 2nd day of CNY; which effectively translates to the offical closure of my holiday. Yup, don't have to question that.....my holiday ended on the 2nd unlike the lucky ones which might stretch into the week. I was demanded to be more humane in my treatment of English for this entry and I hoped this entry is more readable ; albeit returning to my real world from dreamland. The day started meaningfully with Susan Boyle 2009 Episode 1 of BGT. The people cant stopped laughing, snarling and hurling sketical expressions on Susan the moment she stepped onto that stage. Even the judges' expressions sing in cajole with that of the audience. Honestly, if i were her, i might not even swallowed enough guts to walk up that stage...but she did. That alone certainly deserves our applauses. And we all knew that once she opened her mouth to sing, all the negativities were immediately transformed to awes, eye-opening , jaw-breaking expressions. Judgemental is the call of the day. Aren't we all have been professing that in our lives? We judge a book by its cover, as though the stone would never reach the bottom of the pond to ripple its might. For Susan, she is blessed enough to prove otherwise. For many others, such golden opportunities are a luxury. If you should look at the video, the level of cynicism scorned upon her obviously had repeated itself enough for her to head directly for the backstage for fear of an imminent rejection. The judges had to stop her from leaving. If only she had just walked out, that would be another dismal but sininster end - something i supposed is common for her. Why had we evolved to pass judegements onto people based on superficial elements like age, size , or even facial disposition? I thought being 10 billion years of homo sapien speciation as well as 5000 years of civilisation should be more than enough for us to learn that beauty really doesn't lie skin deep. It appears that we are backtracking as far as cynism is concerned. One practises it, and the others follow suite with no questions or reasons to. I felt an overwhelming sense of adrenaline rush when Simon pronounced "Susan Boyle, you can go back to your villages with your heads held high, it is three yeses". I shall take that into my work from today onwards. No sinister remarks to be passed unless it is to serve as a wake up call for the less-motivated(s). No stampeding of another acquaintance for the sake of gaining recognition with our associates. I am sure that shall carry me much further, propelling me into another surge in my career. And more importantly, made me a much better person. :) Wish me luck and help me steer my wheels into my route to less cynicism.........

Subliminal

And so it seems...like what they said in Sex and the City, Carrie got over her trauma of getting out of love simply by laughing at Charlotte pooing in her own pants.....It was barely 10 ticks of the trickling buckets from the last entry, and i felt as though i had trudged up across some ridges of love, steered a fairly wide course around many snow cornices of a love land to cross path with another human of stunningly similarity. Only that this time "it" is prettier. And like just a wand of the magic, my hooked up feeling dissolves in the air masses. It is so subliminal that my love is attested and failed terribly. Am i to rejoice or to be sad for being so shallow? I used to think love and not love are never antagonistic elements which can coexist. But maybe i should ponder to check if i have been unduly cynical to suggest that love and not love is a thick line to cross, and crossing is never easy. Whereby in reality, coupled with the most minor change of events, the line is easily thinned and crossing over is as easy as ABC. Perhaps my novel of love was never meant to be a poignant portrayal of true love, but one where dependence triggered due to loneliness is the determinant of its existence. And for all the piercing pain i have been through...i felt confused that it dissolves just like a rub between the knuckle of my finger. Hope this feeling sustained for a week or so...and i am back to the jovial above average joe. Okay, i know i am a snob to claim myself that. Credit goes to those who helped me achieve my above average status. And i smiled from the bottom of my gab....err i mean heart.

me myself and I

Wasn't it supposed to be the festives...with CNY looming into its first , sandwitched by the Valantines , or Agape Day ,if you insist. But festive moods had tried but made a futile effort to rob me of my heartache, which only the closest knew what i am driving at. This is such a strake contrast to my undauntedness nature. AND i never for once like a bit of it at all. Was it me talking to myself...or was it mine greeting me....only a contortionist knows best. Be it Cupid , Eros or Aphrodites , the pain derived is surreally scary. Surely, books did not tell me that cupid, eros (cap deliberately ommited) , cause pain alongside the love they so proudly professed? Shouldn't Apollo deliberated the skill of archery on cupid so that pleasure and pain doesnt have to go hand in hand like A and B? As the melody of Canon in D silently creeps into my torn heart unnoticed, it suddenly dawned upon me that I am not at all alone. I have hoods of friends, I have a loved one, I have a good career, and I have the vitamin M to spare if i needed to. So now it is I versus me and myself, huh?! These thoughts provided an instant gratification and evoked the confidence so within me....but...atlas...they are instant , short episodes. Almost immediately, i flung back into the me and myself again. I need concretes to solidify me and myself so that Sister of Ares might endowed me with enough wisdom to eradicate the subliminal yet surreal pain. Surely divine wisdom can take up such task to completion without much feat? I guess time will be a good partner of Athena to stem out the heartache. For now......Dionysus can be their assistant. When will I breathe again......? ?